tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6968132365438511409.post7262016362178201437..comments2024-03-26T02:27:06.176-05:00Comments on Tales of Faerie: Mothers Who Kill Their ChildrenKristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01097525403940409218noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6968132365438511409.post-52094107002801171182015-04-09T09:24:08.126-05:002015-04-09T09:24:08.126-05:00Hey just checked out your blog, congratulations on...Hey just checked out your blog, congratulations on starting it! Looking forward to seeing what else you come up with! It's so encouraging to see other people , like you and Emilyn J. Wood, approaching fairy tales from a Christian perspective. I too am a Christian and it really can affect how we interpret certain elements! Your review is the most positive I've seen in the fairy tale world, but all my family and friends have been loving the movie too. Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01097525403940409218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6968132365438511409.post-39601874530747330492015-04-09T09:10:11.212-05:002015-04-09T09:10:11.212-05:00Thank you for sharing! The common feminist attitud...Thank you for sharing! The common feminist attitude towards Cinderella has bothered me for a while. It takes so much courage for people to be able to share about having been abused like that, like in the tweets (which is I think part of the reason we don't hear their side of the story as often). But blaming the victim is so anti-feminist it's surprising-it's like telling a rape victim she should have been able to just fight her way out. How much more complicated and scary would it be when it's your own parent or guardian giving you the abuse?<br /><br />Again, there's also the symbolic aspect of fairy tales, and the fact that if the stepmother is portrayed as not very intimidating, it would be hard to see Cinderella as being truly abused; given the shift of Cinderella's actions through the Victorian period, there is some reason for concern. But I still have yet to hear any of the people who criticize Cinderella for being passive suggest a reasonable outlet for her. There is simply no foolproof way to escape abuse-even today with our government programs, they can often be just as broken as the families children come from.Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01097525403940409218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6968132365438511409.post-50540726424898401322015-04-09T01:55:01.469-05:002015-04-09T01:55:01.469-05:00Interesting set of tweets! Recently I wrote a revi...Interesting set of tweets! Recently I wrote a review of 'Cinderella' on my blog which touches on the points you've mentioned. Oh how these traits are undervalued and misunderstood.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6968132365438511409.post-28326265118501057892015-04-09T01:49:41.457-05:002015-04-09T01:49:41.457-05:00This was an insightful article, as always, and tha...This was an insightful article, as always, and that book sound like a worthwhile (if heavy) read. Thanks so much for sharing. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6968132365438511409.post-51882164686211513132015-04-08T19:19:58.173-05:002015-04-08T19:19:58.173-05:00About Cinderella and the abuse debate, I recently ...About Cinderella and the abuse debate, I recently found this great set of tweets on tumblr that have put into words what we have been wanting to say for a long time. http://emilynstoryweb.tumblr.com/post/115833972684/imagineagreatadventure-i-just-thought-this-set-of<br />I think a lot of the reasons why some people don't approve of Cinderella is because they don't think the virtues of patience, forgiveness, and gentleness are strong traits but feminine traits and therefore weak, sadly. It's a sign of deeper confusions in society about what makes someone strong or weak, manly or feminine.Emilyn J Cloverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00892659942186331664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6968132365438511409.post-80091782048998259482015-04-07T09:11:20.635-05:002015-04-07T09:11:20.635-05:00I agree with you on Juniper Tree, the mother's...I agree with you on Juniper Tree, the mother's actions are so extreme even compared to other infanticides! Some mothers who kill their children truly were mentally unstable at the time, or suffer from extreme postpartum called postpartum psychosis-but this is rarer than people think (we tend to assume that anyone who kills their own children has to be crazy). I actually prefer the version of Juniper Tree where the boy remains a bird, I think it's a picture of beauty and hope yet still any trauma like that does leave lasting consequences-or like the brother from Wild Swans who will forever have a wing for an arm. Evil can't just be erased and forgotten, even though we can still hope for a happy ending.<br /><br />And hm-I will have to look into permanent links!Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01097525403940409218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6968132365438511409.post-72253403674351400642015-04-07T09:05:49.566-05:002015-04-07T09:05:49.566-05:00Thank you for sharing! It's such a hard topic ...Thank you for sharing! It's such a hard topic to talk about, partly because of all the assumptions. I was fortunate enough to have very loving and supportive parents, but even now I'm starting to have feelings of guilt because I don't want children of my own, at least at this time. Cultural assumptions and expectations are so huge in guiding decisions and causing complex feelings. <br /><br />And we can never really begin to deal with child abuse if we don't understand it and don't even think it can really exist except in very rare and extreme cases. I think people's reactions to Cinderella tend to reveal how little we understand about abuse and how potentially dangerous that can be to people who have experienced it. I like your point about how abuse causes cognitive dissonance in both mother and child.Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01097525403940409218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6968132365438511409.post-42279768753928685292015-04-06T18:55:55.192-05:002015-04-06T18:55:55.192-05:00Kristin - I think you should have a permanent link...Kristin - I think you should have a permanent link to this article. It's excellent and important. Thank you for getting your thoughts out so articulately. I'd say more but I think there's plenty here to ponder for now.<br />PS I fully believe the mother character in The Juniper Tree was a psychopath who finally cracked and became her worst self. The only reason I can think this would be a common tale at the time is to illustrate that there are people who can seemingly function as regular people but under circumstances such as condensed family home situations, coupled with grief and more, they can lose their humanity and this needs to be recognized and dealt with (these days, treated) so that life can go on. The boy (who is killed then becomes a bird, and sometimes comes back) seems to transform with the new understanding -sometimes he's restored and so is the family, other times it's like hindsight or a growing understanding (tree reference) in the sister's understanding and coping - the sad thing being that even with a resolution of sorts, she still has to live with the consequences,<br />Ick - dark! But then, I think we learn best with extremes of examples and we learn the shades of these black and whites as we mature.<br />Thanks again for this wonderful article.Gypsy Thorntonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05376146830985305127noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6968132365438511409.post-60550676464907089242015-04-06T18:46:45.272-05:002015-04-06T18:46:45.272-05:00I agree. I had a less-than-ideal relationship with...I agree. I had a less-than-ideal relationship with my mother growing up too, which I won't go into, but suffice it to say, it's one of the reasons fairy tales spoke deeply to me - to show me that I didn't have to perish under certain circumstances and, just as importantly, that I had a choice in how I grew up, that I wasn't doomed to become exactly that person. I wish the idea that mothers protected their children as a priority were real but honestly I see more people struggle with it than not - a universal truth but it isn't. <br />The book sounds like it gives good and fascinating reasons for helping us understand why not and what we can do about it - in general and specifically. I'm intrigued...Gypsy Thorntonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05376146830985305127noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6968132365438511409.post-36288887969381459062015-04-06T15:31:10.231-05:002015-04-06T15:31:10.231-05:00Fascinating. While it may not have been touched on...Fascinating. While it may not have been touched on in the book, some mothers do indeed want the father's attention exclusively, to the point of trying to eliminate their perceived rivals within the household. I lived in fear of my mother doing exactly that for all my young life, and fairy tales showed me - even though they couched the villain as a 'stepmother' - that it had been attempted by other mother-figures in the past, and the children had survived. It was a message that gave me hope. <br /><br />What is is not so hopeful for society at large, and children in particular, is the persistent fiction that 'all' mothers love and protect their children to the best of their ability. Some don't, and there is research to suggest that the dichotomy between the 'loving mother' imagery and the reality of the mother-abused child's situation causes more cognitive dissonance for both mother and child, with lasting psychological damage to the child and possibly to the mother as well (although the guilt and shame accompanying the exposure of such child abuse often prevents a reality-based assessment of the mother's original emotional state for comparison). <br /><br />Fairy tales simplify complex truths into cautionary tales, both for the child and for the wider community. Not 'believing' in the 'fairy tale' that mothers can and will kill their children is dangerous to all concerned.<br /><br />Thanks for this - a thought-provoking post.Eleanorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04671899653158663965noreply@blogger.com