Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Fairy Tales according to Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin: I'm ready for bed, Dad. What's tonight's story going to be?
Dad: Here's one. "Readings on dialectical metaphysics." You'll love it.
Calvin: Forget it, Dad. You can't make me dropp off that easy.
Calvin: Will you read us this story? Hobbes wrote it himself.
Dad: Hobbes wrote it, huh?
Dad: "Goldilocks and the three tigers."
Calvin: Oh boy, this is gonna be great!
Dad: Once upon a time there lived a young girl named Goldilocks. She went into the forest and saw a cottage. No one was home so she went in.
Inside she saw three bowls of porridge. A big bowl, a medium bowl, and a small bowl. She was just about to taste the porridge when the three tigers came home.
The quickly divided Goldilocks into big, medium, and small pieces and dunked them in the porridge that...
Calvin, I'm not going to finish reading this! This is disgusting!!
I don't know why I let you talk me into this. Good night!
Calvin: He didn't even look at our illustrations.
Hobbes: Now I'm all hungry.

Calvin: What should we have Dad read us tonight?
Dad: So in the next panel, supertoad goes "plooie," and...
Dad: "My, what big teeth you have!" said Little Red Riding Hood. "The better to eat you with!" said the wolf...
Calvin: Tiger.
Dad: "...said the tiger, and he pounced on Little Red Riding Hood. Just then a hunter cam by, and when he saw the wolf..."
Calvin: Tiger.
Dad:"...when he was the tiger, he picked up his gun and..."
Calvin: AND?
Dad: "and it was too late. The tiger ate them both and he lived happily ever after. The End."
Calvin: Good story, Dad! Thanks!
Hobbes: *sniff* I always cry at happy endings.

All Calvin and Hobbes comics copyright by Bill Waterson.
Sorry if these are kind of hard to read. These comics taken from "The Essential Calvin and Hobbes."

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