It's really relevant to many of the things I've been discussing here and thinking about lately, and he rightly points out that while all the Princesses get criticized for being passive and wanting nothing more than a man, that stereotype is only really true for the original three, and even then those Princesses, as well as others, have admirable qualities that really aren't bad for little girls to emulate (kindness, cheerfulness, etc.). He points out examples from Disney as well as other popular entertainment (Disney is so often the convenient scapegoat for culture-wide problems) and comes to an interesting, yet I think true, conclusion-the reason people are rubbed the wrong way by Princess culture is because, while boys may desire to be King, girls want to be Princesses and NOT Queens. Queens are virtually all evil, whereas Princesses are good. The image of a Princess indicates more youth and lack of responsibility than Queen, so it's more a wording choice that reflects the fact that culture values youth and women who don't hold all the power.
New Yorker Magazine-Feb 2014
Also, I've been thinking lately about this whole idea that passivity=BAD, especially when it comes to females. And obviously passivity and complacency can be negative, and people should be empowered to act and take a stand against evil; no one should be treated unfairly or taken advantage of. At the same time, we all have to accept and expect some level of unfairness and frustrations in life. But often, actually, if you're stuck in a horrible situation and being mistreated, although you may fantasize about telling off the Powers that Be and stalking off righteously victorious, most times that would not actually accomplish what you want it to.
I've been reading/watching two examples lately that reminded me that sometimes, passivity is actually a wise choice for the time being. I was reading a biography of Jackie Robinson this summer (I had quoted him a little while ago when he mentioned fairy tales in regards to his career); part of the reason his story is so inspirational is that, in addition to the rigorous activities of being a professional baseball player, he had to face racism throughout his whole life, yet he did so with great integrity. When he got accepted into the Dodgers organization, he was warned that no matter how awful the insults were, he couldn't lash out in anger. Really, the whole Civil Rights movement depended on blacks swallowing their unjust treatment and peacefully protesting-violence would have just made it worse (although no one can blame them for being angry and wanting to act out).
Yet no one is criticizing Jackie Robinson for being passive-he's a hero in the athletic world, and the Civil Rights movement.
Not quite as deep, but this summer I've also been rewatching through the show The Office (the American version). And one thing that impressed me about the characters (notably Jim and Pam) is how often their coworkers or bosses treat them unfairly, yet they don't argue the point or talk back, they just take it on most occasions. Sometimes they do stand up for themselves, but in most cases, arguing or insisting they were right wouldn't have done any good. And again, they're seen as the heroes of the show-pretty much the only normal people in the crazy world of the Office, and with them we can appreciate the humor or all the ridiculous situations around them, and hopefully find humor in our own ridiculous worlds.
Anyway, it just struck me that we can even be sexist in how we interpret passivity. If a woman is doing household chores under a domineering boss, she's a horrible example for children, yet when other people swallow their pride we recognize their inner strength and self control. Not that feminists have no reason for concern; many women today still are treated unfairly, and there are still many harmful gender stereotypes out there. But when we start to see passivity as only negative, or only negative if it's displayed in females, we can get into dangerous territory too. Wisdom is sometimes just knowing how to pick and choose your battles, yet our current brand of feminism that is a backlash against years of suppression would lead us to believe that wisdom is taking an aggressive, fighting stance. The goal is to find balance and not get too far into either extreme-passivity or aggression.
Thoughts?
Why is it thought of as a bad thing to be taking care of children? To me, that kind of implies that children are not worth being taken care of and taught and encouraged, and read fairy tales to. It also sounds like the sort of thing a man would say to wave away the idea that women's roles are as important as men's.
ReplyDeleteWhat is man? What is woman?
Madeleine L'Engle talks about it a bit in her nonfiction books. She's an inspiration.
Exactly! Taking care of house and children is an extremely important job. Just as women shouldn't be confined to their stereotypical roles, neither should they feel guilty for not climbing the corporate ladder.
DeleteI love Madelein L'Engle's fiction but haven't read any of her nonfiction. What would you recommend?
I've read Walking on Water and some of The Rock that is Higher. Both of which are about inspiration and stories/fairy tales, and God. Both of them have a few pages talking about how men and women need to be reconciled, and how marriage should be a symbol of that but often isn't thought of that way. And about how language seems to have been degrading and that we need words to think, and the less words we have, the less we'll be able to think clearly.
DeleteVery interesting! I hope my library has at least one of these books!
DeleteGreat article and clip. This recent trend has been bugging me too and I think it's unfair to single out princess culture when it itself isn't bad, we just don't always couch it right. My fav princess role model is still Sailor Moon. Lots of positive princess role models who are also super heroines, so emphasis on responsibility and getting things done yourself. But also the main princess becomes queen and the message from the beginning is always even when married the queen has the power
ReplyDeleteThanks! And yes, there are so many female characters out there now that represent different types of strong females. Have to admit I'm not too familiar with Sailor Moon though but that's interesting that she becomes queen-that's pretty rare but that's great!
DeleteThanks for posting the video, Kristin--glad it was helpful! Your points on passivity were really interesting because it's another part of the whole argument on princesses (and women in general, really) that people seem to often miss. Writer4Christ mentioned that women shouldn't be looked down for choosing to have a family, and I think that it partly stems from the bias that having a family is a "weaker" pursuit, when in reality raising kids can be a very difficult thing to do--for both men and women, in fact! To say that staying at home makes women passive is definitely denying a huge part of the picture. And your descriptions of Jackie Robinson, Pam, and Jim were spot-on. I should probably check out that biography you were reading, as I know Jackie Robinson as an American icon but am not as familiar with his life story (there's a movie out called "42" but have yet to see that either).
ReplyDeleteDefinitely, thanks for sharing it! Yes, it's a really complicated topic. I'm all for promoting women in different leadership positions and encouraging young women to realize they have the same potential. But so often the feminists arguments end up degrading any traditional female roles, which is completely backwards in terms of validating females!
DeleteYeah the book was really good. I didn't actually read the whole thing because it was really long, but I got through his childhood and entering baseball and first years there and I still learned a lot! So inspirational. I haven't seen the movie either.
Another thing about staying home with children, is it wasn't always a right women had. When you read older biographies of women in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, sure middle class and aristocratic women were home, but it didn't necessarily translate you were able to have full control over your children despite what wishes might be. Boys were likely to be sent away at a certain age unless the family could afford a private tutor or the wife with the husband's blessing was allowed to continue his education, but this was not the norm with sons. Which was one reason you see many women in their letters and diaries rejoice at a daughter, the female child they can keep with them longer and there is a desire for a bond. Now the girl might be sent to a convent in the later years to finish their education, but women still, depending on their own education letter, might be able to educate them themselves longer. While The Duchess does take some liberties with Georgiana's life and bio, the thin tenure of control a women had over her children and rights as mother, is well portrayed.
ReplyDeleteThat's really interesting-I didn't realize many women were limited, even in their rights to raise their own children! Really puts more perspective on how you interpret stories...
DeleteThis post actually came in handy today. Things at my job are kind of a mess and a lot of it makes me pissed off. However, I have to deal with a lot of people that it is not okay to be confrontational with. So I told myself to remain poised, control my anger and . . . be a bit like Cinderella for the day. I'd like to think I did okay with that.
ReplyDeleteYay! This makes me so happy! Not that things are really messed up at work, of course, very sorry about that...but this is the power of fairy tales. We can identify with the main characters-males AND females-and they can inspire us to get through the rough parts of life! thanks for sharing!
DeleteI don't think princess culture in itself is bad, but it's how people interpret it that makes it bad. Like you say - it's not healthy to look at all passivity as automatically negative, and lump all princesses together as passive. Interesting point about queens & power though, hadn't thought of it like that before.
ReplyDeleteWhat irritates me is that princesses are often used as a go-to topic for young girls, without stopping to give them another option or consider that they might not actually like princesses. For example, I found an awful book recently called 'Stories For Girls' (what the hell is that about, since when have stories been gender-specific?!) in which there was a story about a girl being left home with her dad. She had some friends round, and her dad suggested they have a sports day. But according to this book, sports are not appropriate for girls unless they're princess themed. So they had a princess sports day, and all had to wear tiaras and tutus to take part & things like that. That's when princess culture makes me feel a bit sick. But then, that too isn't the fault of princess culture in itself, it's society's interpretation of it that's causing the harm.
I saw a similar book (or maybe even the same?) at the house of my niece last week. I flipped through and found mostly gender-neutral stories (like, the words of "Twinkle Twinkle" or other stories that happened to feature girls, but they seemed to be a good variety-one story had a girl with a pet dragon, which I thought was pretty cool and not stereotypical. The princess sports story is interesting, although there are girls out there who are way into princesses and not sports, so making it princess-themed may be a good way of getting her interested in sports (I myself was way more into princesses than sports growing up). My sister and friend keep trying to get me to do the Disney Princess Half Marathon, which a lot of girls run in tutus and tiaras. I love the idea that girls can be girly girls, but sporty at the same time-we're complex and not just one version of girl.
DeleteI can see how that's a good idea to get princess-y girls interested in other things, and of course not all girls are just stereotypes; all people are made up of different attributes. But sometimes it just seems like sometimes society generalises too much, and assumes all girls like girly things and everything has to be made girly for them to enjoy it, which isn't the case. But children are often better mediators than we give them credit for, and know what they do and don't want to be like.
DeleteIt's true, Princess culture is marketed in such a young and overly girly way-in fact I've noticed that little girls tend to be either Princess obsessed, or declare they outright HATE Princesses, as a way to separate/mature themselves. It's seen as a thing to outgrow.
DeleteDefinitely - my niece is like that! She used to love princesses, and now she's that little bit older she doesn't want to go anywhere near them. It's almost like a phase every girl goes through, and it either sticks or doesn't.
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